Adult Dating Down or Up

 The first thing we consider in finding a partner is usually their physical appearance. In doing so, we should ask ourselves: What role do looks play in an adult dating relationship? We asked one adult dating expert to analyze what it means to date up (you think he is hotter than you), or date down (you think you are hotter than him), and what effects it can bring upon your outlook on love.

•  Dating Up

Your man is probably Ryan Reynolds’ Doppelganger, which makes sweating over his hotness status very common. A lot of us, if not all, play the rating game in our heads. It helps us feel more secure and less fearful of losing someone we love. Here are a few things you need to know:

The Pro: If your man is a total hottie, pat yourself on the back. And while you’re busy adoring his hotness, keep in mind that you landed him, chiseled body and all. Actually, adult dating good looking people is a plus. It makes us work harder in looking our best, and it constantly keeps us interested in working things up in the bedroom.  So what if he’s hotter than you? Yeah, big deal. He picked you, and it’s important to trust his decision.

The Con: When your man’s handsome physical attributes starts to hurt your self-esteem and makes you lose confidence in your own positive characteristics, you risk turning into a jealous girlfriend who starts fights every time another girl throws a glance in his direction, or vice versa. What now? If you feel like you’ll never be able to keep up, then it’s time to move on.

•  Dating Down

If you think you deserve to be a Victoria’s Secret Angel, and are quite disappointed your man is not an Adam Levine look alike, you fall into this category. Read on for the plus and minus of trumping your guy in the looks department.

The Pro: Just because your temperature is higher than his on the hotness scale, it doesn’t mean he’s not the right one for you. You see, there’s good looking, and then there’s attractive. A man can be not that good looking, but still incredibly hot for you. So if you are connecting well in and out of the bedroom, don’t lose faith. And deep emotional connection should help eliminate doubts you have for his appearance. It’s crucial to have an open mind, and worry not of what other people think.

The Con: If you feel you are just settling and his lack of attractiveness is being an obstacle for a lasting connection between you two, then it’s time to move on. If you have to convince yourself that you’re dating the right person, then he is always the wrong person. Constantly thinking he’s not too hot for you can put a strain in the relationship, which will hinder your progress to move forward.