- Insulting my wife when trying to flatter her
- Fucking up the laundry
- Introducing our children to crappy food
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There are times when guys really fuck it up with their hot wives. But fortunately, when I happen to be at fault, my wife doesn’t make fun of me. She secretly loves it when I screw up, because she says I never admit to anything I’ve done wrong. So at this rare moment, I’ll happily own up to my many blunders and lapses in judgment as a husband.
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It’s time to cancel those pole dancing lessons and throw away the edible lingerie. If your guy is like Albert Tanner, all he wants is a sweet and sexy helping of you tonight. So here are some common toppings a lot of girls think their partners when having adult sex, but most of us guys can happily do without.
So your overly aggressive best buddy scoured the dating websites and created a pretty witty online dating profile as you! And then there’s this real guy she connected with and wants to get to know you. You’re all set to meet him for drinks on Friday night. He seems really, really fantastic and you’re really scared shitless.
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. It’s all going to be alright, because you’ll have the power of feng shui on your side. Yes, you got that right. You can go over our online dating tipsin utilizing the ancient system of feng shui at home and on your date to make for a fantastic evening. You may never have to go browsing for your soulmate ever again. Our feng shui online dating tips begin at the right hand corner of your bedroom. Using a few techniques here can help create a lasting and loving relationship. Ensure you don’t have anything that relates to any long-lost relationships in this area. It’s time you get rid of those old love letters. Place two pink candles encased in glass or crystal holders in this area. From here on up until the date itself, make sure to light these candles frequently. They will ignite a flame in your heart and bring someone new to love in your life. Placing a sexy nightie in this area will heat things up as much as the two candles will. Make sure you have something on hand that can excite each of your man’s five senses. To stimulate scent-ual romance, add a drop or two of essential ylang-ylang oil to a low-wattage bulb. Have sexy music readily available. The candles are already there, but having massage oils, red sheets and any sweet edibles can help you prep up for a potentially passionate evening. There are a few restaurant rules too: Let him chat up the hostess regarding your seating area. When you’re seated, make sure he gets the chair facing the front door or has his back to a wall. This puts your man in a position where he can feel confident, bold and sure of himself. If you’re up for a traditional twist on your date, let him know what you would like to have and let him order for you. If you like your martini shaken, not stirred ala James Bond, allow him to pass this piece of information along to the bartender. Finally, don’t be too quick to jump on the bill when it’s given by the end of the evening. If you follow these online dating tips in good faith, they will definitely bring you good fortune, more positive results and maybe a trip down the aisle. Having quality time with your man can be difficult to come by, so why not make those precious few hours with him extra exciting and make sure you get laid tonight? Use these scorching hot reader tips to sizzle things up on your next date and get laid tonight.
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Inspired by the movie “Eat, Pray, Love,” we snuggled up to the Blu-ray player and identified the hookup dating lessons from these unforgettable chick flicks.
Eat, Pray, Love If you can quit your job and decide to travel around the world for one year to get over a bad hookup dating relationship, as what Julia Roberts’ character Elizabeth Gilbert did, then go for it. However, since you probably can’t afford to have time off from work to do this and deal with the horrific credit card debt, try devoting your post-breakup grief time to explore more of who you are and the things that you love, so you can evolve and be a better person on your next relationship. When Harry Met Sally Thanks to this Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan classic, many women have pondered on the thought of giving their totally platonic guy friend a second look. Although, in reality the answer is no, there is something to be said about adding spectacular sex to an already great friendship. Just be sure the feeling is mutual and the timing is right, otherwise you just might lose the friendship. 500 Days of Summer Total hottie Joseph Gordon-Levitt is so head over heels in love with the adorable Zooey Deschanel that he literally trips over himself every time she walks in on him. Spoiler alert: He didn’t end up with the woman he longed for, but this film made it clear that there is life after a terrible heart break. Before Sunrise The story is about two young travelers backpacking across Europe who meet aboard a train, and then spend the night exploring Paris. Although we don’t recommend that you to get it on in the park with someone you just met, the lesson imparts being spontaneous and adventurous can set you up for a life-changing experience. Sleepless in Seattle Meg Ryan’s attempt to fly coast-to-coast and meet a man she just heard on the radio reeks of desperation commonly found in Craigslist’s Missed Connection section. However, there is still a lot to learn from this movie. For one, you could cut your fiancé loose if he bores you to the point of staying up listening to talk radio. From there, learn how to trust your instincts and never be afraid of making a fool of yourself in the search for romance. Clueless Popular for its funny lines and Alicia Silverstone’s much desired wardrobe, this 90s hit revolved around Cher’s blundering attempts at playing cupid, all the while not being aware of the chemistry she and her sweet, silly ex-stepbrother have. The lesson? You don’t have to look far from your family tree to find romance. Okay, we’re just kidding. It’s really all about how the love connection you’re looking for can be right under your nose. This is your new blog post. Click here and start typing, or drag in elements from the top bar.
Guys are easy to figure out. You dont need to know how to analyze complicated sports stats, beat us at video games, or do a sexy routine on a stripper pole to impress the hell out of us (though well give huge points for that). Instead, all you sexy women can use these far simpler yet more effective ways. Ask Questions Most men, if not all, assume that all you sexy women out there love to talk about themselves. So if you ask about his life, whether its his work or his fantasy football team, hell be pleasantly surprised. It not only can be flattering for a guy if a woman shows interest, but it also shows she can hold a conversation about things that hes into. Tell a Secret Disclosing something about you thats relatively harmless we dont need to know the reason why your life story has been turned into a soap opera miniseries can instantly establish a connection. “The first time I met her, she revealed to me her fear of cockroaches,” says Oliver, 25. “The unique nature of her anxiety was charming, and I knew Id be a hero if I get the chance to swat any winged pest flying about.” And even if her friends know her “secret,” hell still feel special just because you decided to let him know. Own the Awkwardness We all know that embarrassing moments can really be, well, embarrassing. However, this also presents an opportunity to let your guard down, and show him the real you. So instead of losing it when something unfavorable happens, think of it as a chance to display your ability to make fun of yourself and your wacky sense of humor. “I went out with a girl who, on our first date, slipped on a patch of ice outside her apartment and hit the ground hard,” says Nathan, 26. “After I made sure she was fine, she said, Fortunately, were not going ice-skating! I was smitten.” Bring Up Day Two “It feels great if a girl presents the opportunity for me to see her again,” says Mike, 28. “I take it almost all the time.” See how easy it is? On one hand, you wouldnt want to be pushy, but guys dont handle subtlety very well, so what you need to do is get the message across. Say something like, “I love to see that movie, but all of my friends have seen it.” That statement should probably work even on the densest dude you know. This is your new blog post. Click here and start typing, or drag in elements from the top bar.
Click to set custom HTML When you want to ask the Internet about a new guy, it’s usually a smart move. However, there is a time when you must resist the temptation. If you can imagine the time before Google, you wouldn’t be able to peruse over a pasta recipe at a moment’s notice, check movie schedules, or finish your homework. Yes, it can be quite an insurmountable feat to resist doing an Internet search on a guy. If he asked you out after striking up a conversation at a bar or met him through Internet dating, it’s only prudent to snoop around online and make sure he’s not a Ted Bundy clone. However, there is one instance when Googling a guy can bring harm to a potential relationship: when somebody you know vouches for the dude. If he’s a friend of your friend, you can be quite sure he’s not a psycho serial killer. So you’ll really want to dig some stuff about his past, which is not a really good idea. Googling someone feeds your curiosity and gives you some sense of control over the harrowing experience of going through the early stages of dating. If you have a more personal connection to the guy, it may do more harm than good. Here are a few reasons why. You’ll have to fake it If you’ve already read up on a dude, your conversations with him will not be authentic since you’re just pretending to know stuff about him that you already know. You will have to keep track of the things he tells you versus the things you found out during your online investigation. In addition, you’ll be forced to pretend to be surprised. It can feel insincere and make his BS alarm go off. You’ll make wrong assumptions Since you have very limited knowledge about your Internet dating partner, the things you know about him takes on an amplified degree of importance, and the opinion you have formed about him based on the bits of information you’ve scrounged up on the web will most likely be messed up. You’ll have a false feeling you know him, but really don’t Finding out stuff about a dude can create a fake and somewhat “stalkerish impression in your mind. It gives you a false sense of security, which can make you go further sexually than you normally would. This can also feed you fictitious dreams of having a good future together. You’ll tend to imagine going on a vacation to his lake house, skinny dipping and watching your favorite movie together. If things don’t work out, you’ll just be hurt instead of feeling apathetic about it. This is your new blog post. Click here and start typing, or drag in elements from the top bar.
You can measure a guys dating potential with three important pieces of information. The smart online dating tips and tricks here should involve ways on how to coax them out of him without looking like a total psycho. By the time you reach the fourth date, this is usually the time when you decide if you want to get serious or just bail out. Using savvy detective skills, you will be able to spare yourself unfortunate disappointment later. Its all about knowing how to ask the right questions and what to look for in his answers. So to avoid wasting precious time on a dead end guy, here are a few online dating tips to help you find out the following. How does he feel about his work? His attitude towards his career can tell you if your lives will have the probability to gel or clash, provided you can steer the conversation beyond rants about his bitchy bosses and late tax reports. Actually, the important question to ask is, “Do you like what you do?†A lot of things can come out naturally from his answers. For instance, your perfect idea of coupled bliss involves delicious intimate dinners and a weekly How I Met Your Mother ritual. If he tells you about his long hours at work or his second job, you can say goodbye to spending a decent time with him. Or maybe you're doing everything you could to live in the big city, only to find out he wants to quit his job and start an organic farm. Its good to be in the know, right? What was his last relationship like? No matter how awkward it can be, talking about exes can be incredibly useful in figuring out how hes going to handle himself when he is no longer on his best dating behavior. Get him to open up through flattery. You can say, You're such a catch. What kind of girl would let you go just like that? a good compliment that can often lead to discussion. If he is a compassionate and mature guy, he will normally let you know her good qualities first before explaining why things didn't work out. Now if he glowers or shakes his head a lot while dropping harsh criticisms, chances are his impatience and lack of understanding was part of the problem. How does he handle debt? Not all debts are bad. A guys student loan can be classified as a smart debt, which is an investment that will surely pay off. What you need to look out for is the guy whos in debt because of that top of the line entertainment sound system he just had to have, and is planning to purchase a high-end road bike next. How he manages his finances is a bigger character indicator than how much money he has. It is a good indication if he takes responsibility for his actions. Bringing up things about the economy is an easy way to start a conversation about finances, and then focus on bills saying, im glad Ive just paid off my credit cards. Have you piled up any debts on those dangerous things? If he has made unfortunate financial decisions, its really not a total deal breaker, as long as hes cutting back on his expenses and paying back what he owes. Snatching and sex dating a loaded guy has been a long time dream for some women. And now, these high-income dudes are on everyone’s radars thanks to TV shows such as “Gossip Girl, ” “Beverly Hills 90210″ and “The Hills.” Plus, their numbers are on the rise, according to statistics saying there are more rich people than ever. Here is the lowdown on guys with fat bank accounts. Many are not making money the old-fashioned way Many years ago, you would assume the big moneymakers deeply entrenched in the world of finance hold MBA degrees. Nowadays, many young men work for big-risk, huge-reward hedge funds, with many more garnering much success in combining their creativity with technological savvy. You will usually find them in hotel bars and ritzy steak houses When rich dudes travel or go sex dating, they check in at luxurious hotels because they want the best of everything. When having dinner, they don’t go for anything less than grade-A beef. That’s why ritzy steak houses are where high-powered biz types hangout. Before settling down on a table to rack up the bill on the company expense account, of course these dudes usually prefer to hit the bar first. They have gold digger radar A lot of people want to be loved for who they are and not what they do. And this goes the same for wealthy men. Gold diggers don’t give off a nice, cute vibe. What they do is pretend they’re interested in your profession, only hang out with you when you’re going to the most exclusive club or restaurant, and they even invite ten of their friends to tag along. They are naughty High-earning men are the group most likely to utilize the Internet for adult entertainment, like porn. And according to a study done by Prince and Associates, 75 percent of rich guys said that frequent sex and multiple partners are the benefits of having lots of money; 33 percent are even mile-high club members. They have a sense of entitlement to arm candy It may sound a bit shallow, but rich guys think they deserve to be with trophy women. They want to be with women who are ridiculously beautiful, have good manners, and can plan social schedules. They don’t want to end up with a dummy A staggering 89 percent of male high achievers report they prefer marrying a woman who is equally or even more intelligent than they are. Moreover, 92 percent of guys who consider themselves successful say they are more drawn to women who are also kicking butts in their fields. These sweet and funny movies might be playing dirty tricks to your relationship with hot girls. Here are the reasons why romcoms can pose a danger to your dating life. You’re settled in your living room couch, keenly focused on the almost ridiculous fantasy story of “27 Dresses” or “Valentine’s Day” for the nth time. Looks pretty harmless, right? Well, not really. A recent study reveals that getting too enthralled by this kind of films might subconsciously transform you into the Girlfriend from Hell. Heriot-Watt University researchers have discovered in their study that chick flicks can develop unrealistic expectations for relationships and love, especially when it pertains to communication. It turns out that hot girls hot girls who are into romantic comedies are inclined to have mind-readeritis, which is setting expectations for their man to know what these hot girls want and how they feel without even having to tell them. Think of all those film scenes when a guy has a light bulb moment, suddenly knowing what is exactly wrong with his situation and having the perfect way to fix it. Then, the scene shifts to overly exaggerated kinesics such as sending dozens of roses to the woman’s apartment on the hour every hour, showing up on her doorstep with a rare, limited-edition copy of her favorite childhood book, which he remembered when she casually mentioned it when they were still dating ages ago, and loudly playing love songs out her bedroom window under the pouring rain. Just like in real life… NOT. Here are three telltale signs that you might be falling into the chick flick trap. You’re always thinking, “That would never happen to us.” Having a mindset that automatically concludes your relationship is invincible and doesn’t have serious problems can qualify as being overly optimistic, which is a sign that you may have some quixotic expectations. You might be dangerously convinced that he will not lie to you or you would never cheat on him, but it’s essential to accept the fact that any relationship can receive a huge blow or two during its course. You’re keeping score of everything. So you grabbed dinner on your way to his place, scored good seats for him to see his home team play at the arena, and let him know he looks fantastic in his new sweater all within one week. Now, you are waiting for his romantic gesture that he’ll do to repay your kindness, which never comes. What happens is you go from disappointed to just plain pissed for having an unappreciative boyfriend. The solution: If you’re going to do something to your boyfriend, make sure it’s alright if he doesn’t give you something back for it. You’re sure it’s written in the stars. Your Starbucks barista calls out the same exact coffee beverage for you down to the extra shot of espresso and nonfat milk. If this makes you believe you are somehow soulmates, you have been watching too many romcoms. You may have a few astonishing things in common, but things are not just that clear-cut in real life. There are times that fate can bring two people together, but this doesn’t mean you’ll spend the rest of your lives happy akin to a fairytale ending. The trick here is to stay in touch with the real world, and don’t stop communicating. |