The reason why we think guys are immune to a post-relationship slump? They are really, really good at hiding it.

When Seal started to make the rounds in talk shows, almost everyone seemed to be surprised at how calm and collected he looked after his split from Heidi Klum. He even told talk show host Ellen DeGeneres that he’s keeping his wedding ring on because he likes to feel “connected” with his ex.

But surely, what he says in public is entirely different from how he feels in private. Even if guys play it cool after a break up, that happens to them after the split depends on who broke up with whom.

If he was the one who did, he was probably sad for a split second before he started daydreaming about the new girls he’s to go adult dating with. However, if he was the one run over by the dump truck, his post-split behavior would be far different. Yes, psycho dudes do psychotic things, but normal dudes like Seal, who are saddened by the end of a beautiful adult dating relationship, throw their attention to fighting that depressing feeling. Read on for a guy’s take on what Seal is probably going through.

Holding Back Tears

Some guys claim they never cry. But the truth is we never let anyone see us crying. I was madly in love with Janice then. Our song was “Crazy in Love” because that was how we were back when we were adult dating. And after she broke up with me, I was telling our story to a friend at a bar when I had to grit my teeth and excuse myself. When I got home, I pulled the curtains shut and blasted heavy metal songs. And then I cried. It felt good, only because I knew that no one saw me.

Fighting Inanimate Objects

Guys usually work through the pain of a broken heart by substituting it with a much bearable pain of bloody knuckles. I once had a roommate who, after being dumped by his Leighton Meester look-alike girlfriend, constantly wailed on a punching bag installed in our apartment. I have the soft hands of a writer, so I spent the greater part of my recovery from one nasty breakup by living inside the game “Grand Theft Auto IV” for a couple of weeks. I crashed cars and shot anyone who looked at me funny. It may be odd, but it helped me vent out chaotic emotions that I had no idea how to process any other way.
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Trish is one of my closest friends, and my hook up dating partner in crime when we were both still single. I’ve seen her charm her way to men’s hearts with an easy laugh or a fixed gaze, which eventually led me to learn how to read her body language. Her moves landed her a boyfriend in college, a few flings, and her hubby John. All of this didn’t matter to me, until she started using them on my husband, Seth.

Trish never flirted with Seth, until we started going out on double dates. She’s been asking him too many questions about his vintage guitar collection and laughing a little too hard at his jokes all of this being done while flashing that familiar flirty smile. John and I are left to engage in small talk, pretending not to hear their conversation.

I didn’t give my husband a heads up of Trish’s antics right away, since I trust him and didn’t want to sound bitchy and insecure. But after a few more double dates, I finally asked what he thought of Trish’s flirting. He answered with the typical guy response: “Really? I’ve never noticed.” You’ve got to be kidding me.

There’s another weird aspect of this whole situation: Seth acts salacious towards me after going out with Trish. When I mention this to my friend and therapist, Liz Lombardo, PhD, she says I relax. Even if Seth doesn’t notice Trish’s actions, they still boost his ego, and this primes him for great hook up with me, which she says I should take advantage of.

It’s pretty good advice, but I can’t promise to deal with it sensibly.

I’ve been told by an expert that it takes guys four times longer to pick up on subtle social signs than it does for women, which is most likely the reason why Seth is unaware of Trish’s flirting. And since Trish and I have never had to compete for guys, her flirting is done subconsciously, because it’s a way for her to feel attractive and alive. I’ve been advised to direct Trish’s thoughts on a different direction. I have to call attention to the fact that Seth and I are a “we,” saying something like, “Seth and I had a great time in New York. When are you guys going on a trip?”

So should I confront Trish? She would have stepped over the line if she suggests that she and Seth do something on their own. A confrontation should be done if I start to see the situation in a distorted way, like Seth falling in love with Trish or that Trish is doing this just to spite me, which only means my happiness is seriously at stake. If this is the case, I’ve been told to make a lighthearted comment like, “Wow, you really laugh a little too hard at Seth’s jokes.” Trish should take the hint and ease off. And if not, this may be a sign that she doesn’t have innocent intentions and clearly wants to hook up with my husband.
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We asked guys to spill the crazy things they do when they hookup with girls. Are you guilty of any of these?
  •  Being Her Chauffeur
Guys like to be thought of as useful, and one good way to show this while they hookup with girls is by offering them rides. It can start with small steps, like picking her up when you plan to have dinner at your place, going all the way across town just to get her. This will soon be followed by trips to the furniture store to help her buy hundreds of tea lights. And when she has to leave town to visit her folks, we amazingly come up with a reason why we’re going in the same direction, just so we can spend a few hours in the car with her.
  •  Letting Them Get You Into Fights
It can be all traced back to the chest thumping. When we try to hookup with girls, guys should never come off as a weakling. But you have to remember, this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to pick a fight with the first guy you see. But rather, if there is a rowdy group of teenagers in a movie theater, it’s up to you to smack the back of their heads to shut them all up. Of course, this also means you’ll most likely jet jumped at the parking lot and get beaten to a pulp, but you’ll just cross the bridge when you get there.
  •  Relocating Your Entire Life
It really sucks big time if you meet a girl you’re into someone you could have something with only to find out she’s leaving town in a few weeks. Some guys cut their losses right there, while others stand their ground and make travel plans. We abandon our careers just to follow that woman. Why? Because love is the best pension plan of all.
  •  Being Her Ken Doll
Guys can sometimes be all too easily influenced by a woman’s suggestion, especially when it comes to their wardrobe. He tells himself he looks great, or at least she thinks he looks great, but guys shouldn’t have multiple Ed Hardy shirts or a studded Laguna Beach trucker hat. It’s a given that women like to play dress up, and men almost always like to oblige. His willingness to look like a douche is directly proportional to how much he likes the girl.
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Here are a few factors that can convince a guy you might be worth giving up his single status for and decide to go steady adult dating with you.

One important thing to remember is guys decide early on if they’re willing to give up their freedom just to have a monogamous adult dating relationship with you. To convince him it’s a sacrifice worth doing, make sure that you…
  • Pick Up the Check
Take it easy, we’re not saying that you have to pay for every meal. But if you reach for the check, he’ll immediately know you’re a self-sustaining individual who is not just looking for a free ride. If she looks away or suddenly gets seemingly distracted when the check arrives, some guys like Dirk, 25, feels taken advantage of. When a woman occasionally insists on paying the tab, it shoes she’s interested in you as a person, and not what you can give her.
  • Have Plans on Friday Nights
Yes, you want to see him and he appreciates the gesture, but when you send him a steady barrage of email and text messages asking him what he wants to do this weekend, it can be suffocating. What he needs to know so he can have a progressive relationship with you is reassurance that you have your own life one that doesn’t revolve only around him. “My current girlfriend is the first I ever dated who frequently told me, ‘Sorry, already have plans’ because she had a lot of stuff going on,” says Adam, 30. “Although, I soon realized that if I wanted to be with her, I’d have to make plans in advance, which made me want her even more!”
  • Love His Guy Stuff
“My idea of long-term adult dating material is someone who will give me a pat on the back after an awesome day at the golf course and will laugh with me when I tell her about all the funny stuff my friends and I did one night at a bar crawl,” says Brian, 27. It may be asking a lot, but guys don’t want women who will just be catty and complain about our manly activities or the company we keep.
  • Unleash Your Lust
When a man looks at their future with a girl, he wants to imagine wild nights with mind-blowing sex. So if you’re already an eager beaver in bed to begin with, he’ll know he has a lot to look forward to in your potential adult dating relationship.
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While many steamy adult sex dreams are an awesome treat (where you will wake up in the morning all wet and satisfied) others–such as cheating on your guy or being raped are an absolute nightmare. And, since new researches had sprung up that more and more women are having weird sex nightmares than before chances are, you’ve had an alarming erotic experience in la-la land at some point.

But, here’s the funny thing about dreams of having sex: They typically have nothing to do with sex–it’s just a symbol your brain chooses. So, don’t take them literally. Adult Sex dreams lay bare your deep-seated fears and desires. Find out how these common erotic scenarios can help you identify and rectify an underlying issue.

Adult Sex Dream 1: Sex With Your Ex – A dream about bedding a former flame may make you question if you harbor feelings for him, but that’s likely not the case. “our ex could be a stand-in for the person you’re with now and your subconscious tends to substitute an earlier love for any guy you’re dating.

Adult Sex Dream 2: Girl-On-Girl Action – If you are straight and get it on with a woman in a dream, it doesn’t mean you’re in denial about your sexual orientation. Often, it’s about celebrating friendship. Feeling emotionally close to a female may manifest as physical bonding in a dream.

Adult Sex Dream 3: Cheating – The anxiety and shame you feel when you’re two-timing your man in a dream reflect real-life guilt. Perhaps you lied to him or skirted the line of good behavior (like flirting with another guy). On the other hand, if your man is the one betraying you in the dream, it may indicate that you’re insecure about the relationshop. In a new relationship, you might not be sure he’s committed, If you’ve been together for a long time, you may have a dream like this when something pulls his attention away from you. Like he got a promotion.

Adult Sex Dream 4: A Bizarre Passion Partner Oprah. Your fugly boss. The housewife next door. Why would you have an X-rated dream starring someone you’re positively not lusting after? You may not physically desire them, but you desire something they have. Perhaps you are trying to become a TV personality, want a promotion, or long for a hubby. Having sex with the person shows you’re aligning yourself with his or her achievements

Adult Sex Dream 5: Being Taken Advantage Of Sexually A dream in which you’re coerced into an act (for example, your man pushing your head down to give him oral) belies a sense of powerlessness. You’re worried that if you resist, you’ll lose something important. For instance, maybe you never stand up to your guy during an argument because you’re scared he’ll dump you.
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