How does James Franco make time for his hookup dating activities? He’s a celebrity movie actor, director, author, screenwriter, producer, painter, model, musician and instructor. Whoa. New York City is full of these overachievers, and James Franco is their poster child.

When I left New York City, I thought I finally said goodbye to the entire ambitious, grade A, Wall Street, Ivy Leaguers and their kind. But just recently, I went hookup dating with what seemed to be a scary-busy overachiever.

He was a tall and fit Ivy League doctor who looked good based on stats. He didn’t appear to be grade A. However, after I agreed to go out on a date with him, I started to have other concerns. When you look closely, his online profile didn’t have even have a trace of his sense of humor. Paired with two very professional photos—and just these two—I started to worry he is a real-life version of Patrick Bateman of American Psycho fame. I imagined him taking me home with my whole body chopped into bits and pieces. He offered to pick me up at my place in his swanky Porsche, but I declined because I didn’t want him to know where I live.

In a ritzy Peruvian restaurant, I discovered he just started his own practice. He also shared that he patented some kind of hospital device and was working to self-publish a novel. He was James Franco incarnate, except for the fact that he took himself too seriously. He even told me his ex-wife called him an egomaniac. Who, in his right mind, even shares that when out on a date?!

He was one intensely cheesy person. At one point in our date he asked, “How would you describe the taste of this wine to Shakespeare without comparing it to other tastes?” I replied, “Seriously?! My creativity is off-duty.” He actually waited, with a face that expressed how much of a fun game it was. So, I said something about a cold, crumbling gravestone, strangled by the acidity of the decaying earth. What I really wanted to say was, “This guy is about to taste the disappointment of a date that’s about to end prematurely.”

One good thing that he did was not telling me I needed Botox treatment or Restalyne. Yet.

So after that terrible date, I went home and rattled off all his achievements to my mom. She said, “If he’s so great, how come no one has snatched him off the market yet?” I let off a chuckle. But then, I thought, what if people say that about me? Nobody’s scooping me up either!

He asked me out on a second date, but I just told him the timing wasn’t right.

When it’s spring time in New York City, benefit season goes into full gear. And to many, it’s a very good thing because these events can be a goldmine for meeting and hookup dating single guys. At these parties, you will have the opportunity to meet people in their late twenties to early thirties who can afford to be there and can take you out to be wined and dined.

Just recently, a publicist and her friends were at a benefit event where they discovered a virtual man feast of attractive financiers. “We were in man heaven,” she recounts. “Every guy was making conversation with us. One of my friends exchanged numbers with someone and they started hookup dating. It’s not so bad for the guys either. “They know that young and hot PR fashionable girls will be there. These benefit events are the new online dating scene.”

New hookup dating scene? Using benefit events to meet single people? Have we lost track of the unselfish purpose of such events? Perhaps not.

According to hookup dating experts, attending these charity galas is the new way of dating. They have only a few downsides and are definitely worth what you pay for. Meeting singles in these events is the brilliance of the century.

There is a certain safety net when meeting and connecting with singles at fundraisers. You can meet and greet in a favorable environment for single women on the prowl. The people who attend these functions have the financial capability to purchase a ticket that can amount to $350 and up, and they seemingly have a good heart to support an event that has the main objective of helping the less fortunate.

It appears that people feel more secure about meeting someone at a fundraiser than at a bar or club. Guests are usually well-chaperoned to an extent, and the cultured atmosphere encourages good behavior.

Benefits also give people the opportunity to put their best foot forward and really put on threads so you can dress to impress, which you can’t really do at normal dating venues. Most men, if not all, look dashingly handsome in a tux, and they don’t even dress to kill anymore. Moreover, a benefit is a perfect place for women to take off their conservative work attire, get into a dazzling outfit and look stunning.

A lot of successful professionals spend many exhausting hours at work, so these events are an instant social life and a nice break from their grueling schedules. Some of them attend galas up to four times a week. What you have to keep in mind is if you don’t meet Mr. Right, you can spend time with friends—eating, drinking and dancing while supporting a good cause. The key here is not to get discouraged if you don’t meet anyone. Of course, there are no guarantees. It is important to psyche yourself up and tell yourself that you’ve done this from the goodness of your heart and have made a good decision to be here. Besides, you can always make new friends with a couple that have a single attractive friend waiting to have someone be swept off her feet.

In our age of inconvenient truths, finding an environmentally aware partner has never been easier. The growth of the green movement has prompted a surge in eco-friendly themed dating sites, matchmaking services, and networking events. Sustainably sensitive singles no longer need move to the nearest hippie commune to find love. Instead, just hit up these awesome green adult dating trends.

• Green Drinks

There is no doubt treehuggers love to party. You can find them at your local bar, nightclub, rowdy disco, or rave party. Yet, beer goggles, blinking strobe lights and even inebriation can make any hippie tough to spot in the crowd. Add an automatic smoke machine and you might as well be looking for a needle in a haystack. Save yourself the reconnaissance mission and go for a room full of greenies at Green Drinks, a non-profit green networking event that meets monthly in over 300 cities worldwide, ranging from Sri Lanka to Stillwater, Oklahoma.

• The Great Outdoors

If you want to avoid the strobes and beer goggles altogether, go for a sober search in the great outdoors. A lot of cities boast of hiking, biking, and boating networks. Join any of your city's outdoor interest groups and you're bound to meet a bunch of thrill-seeking greenies. Bonding over a tough climb or breathtaking mountain views will strengthen the connection, and nothing gets the blood pumping—quite literally—like hiking or biking outdoors.

• Eco-Dating Sites

Though some may still consider it taboo, online adult dating is a fully acceptable way of connecting with like-minded members of the opposite—or same—sex. There are many eco-dating sites to choose from, and a lot of them also feature gay and lesbian options.

• Green Volunteer Project

It’s time to get your hands dirty. Volunteer at your local conservation site, community-garden project or oil spill. It's a fun activity and you'll feel good for helping out. Plus, you may meet a burly young eco-hunk and nothing breaks the ice like sweaty tree planting. There are endless volunteer opportunities to choose from, just find a mission that mirrors your level of activism.

• Organic Café

If you’re a newbie to the eco-scene, try hanging out at an organic café. It's a low-key, stress-free, and inexpensive way to meet green-minded singles like you. By visiting an organic coffee house, you'll drastically increase your chances of meeting Mr. Right, especially if Mr. Right is a man who would drink only a pesticide-free cup of joe.

So, what’s the big deal with going on a date hookup with a younger guy? Let’s take this situation for example.

• I met a guy in one of my college classes. We flirted a little and got along very well. And then summer came. Now, classes are back this fall, and we’ve flirted through Facebook all summer, but nothing has come of it. He is four years younger than I am, and my friends think that the age difference intimidates him. Can this intimidate a guy that much? Or should I assume he’s not that into me that’s why he hasn’t asked me out yet? Or should I just suck it up and be the one to ask him out?

I say go and take the plunge! It’s cliché, but age is just a number. If it’s quite reasonable, it shouldn’t be an issue.

Whether you go for an older guy or a younger guy, it doesn’t really matter. The important thing is how you feel about each other.

I think that flirting through Facebook is just a way of circumlocution. It’s just a waste of time and it leaves things way too vague. What you should do is call him up and ask him out on a date hookup, and then use your experience to your advantage.

Here are a few good reasons why you should date hookup younger guys:

1. Because they have all that good stuff—a lot of energy and full of optimism. Pups are fun to play with because they are full of youthful energy, are always up for a good time and cuddle like a boss. Old graying mutts are good too—they are loyal, know what they want and don’t go and don’t go running after cars more often.

2. You can teach him a lot of things. Experience is valuable. Yes, young men like to know that they are with someone who knows what’s going on in bed and in life. However, there is something sexy about innocence too.

3. They have less relationship baggage. He is less likely to freak out after a few months because he is concerned about you cheating on him like his last girl did.

4. No beer belly. YET. Well, probably. Hopefully.

We surveyed a community of daters and asked them questions about dating, sex and relationship advice to find out what first date hookup behavior kills any chance of going out on a second date. Here are a few first date hookup mistakes and how to fix them:

• DON’T be arrogant. Women hate it when men brag about how hot all the girls they date on a regular basis, or how rich he is. It’s a total turn off! That kind of arrogance is completely transparent, so shut it before you attempt to convince your date how much of a stud you are.

• DO talk yourself up. Credit should be given to where it is due. Graciously accept compliments and humbly talk about your achievements. However, make sure you give your date the same attention and chance to talk about herself.

• DON’T forget your manners. Women hate guys with no table manners. One member once went out on a date hookup with a guy that ate off her plate, and even drank her drink. Everyone has their own comfort level on sharing food during a first date, so err on the side of caution—at least ask before you take a spoonful off her plate or a sip from her drink.

• DO relax. Yes, manners are very important. But if you unintentionally spill your drink or find yourself with something stuck between your teeth, do not overreact and make a big deal out of it. Always remember that dating should be fun, and there’s nothing more of a buzz killer than having to always reassure your date that it’s not a big deal, and don’t be embarrassed all throughout the date.

• DON’T be too aggressive. If you can’t gauge how she’s into you, don’t throw caution to the wind and go all out. In giving a goodbye kiss, keep your slithering tongue and your wandering hand in check until you can assess your date’s reaction.

• DO show you are interested if you really are. You wouldn’t want to come on too strong, but you do want to let your date know you are into him, so don’t keep him guessing. If you would like to go out on a second date, just say so.

• DON’T talk about your ex. This is one of the cardinal rules when going out on a first date. It simply show’s you’re not over your ex. Telling nasty things about an ex can be a killer. If he can say that about his ex, he can say the same about his potential partner.

• DO keep it real. Always be yourself; plain and simple. You’d be surprised with the results.

This doesn’t involve a stripper pole, going without underpants or watching the latest sequel to Harold and Kumar’s misadventures. To be honest, guys could really use a playbook. It would be mighty convenient if the ladies can tell clueless men what you like and dislike when out on dates. We’re pretty sure you all feel the same. Here is a run through of things a guy wishes you’d do when out on a date hookup.

• Keep your Internet search findings to yourself

Let’s say you Googled around and found out that he had a hidden tattoo of Super Mario done during college and willfully attended a Black Eyed Peas concert a couple of months back. Unless he starts singing “Don’t Funk with My Heart” and wearing a Mario Brothers t-shirt, you are not allowed to say anything about it.

• Give in to your wacky urges

How will a guy know about your hilarious sense of humor if you always act prim and proper around him all night? You’ve got to have a quirk underneath all that good behavior.

• Flirt, and then flirt some more

A little touch in the elbow or forearm may be simple as to be inconsequential, but there isn’t a man on the planet that doesn’t feel a spark when you do it. Guys are genuine suckers for a woman’s attention.

• Let him know you you’ve checked his body out

Unlike women, guys don’t feel offended when objectified. A general date hookup rule to follow: If a guy mentions a body part more than once, say something positive about it.

• Refrain from telling stories about your ex camouflaged as “your friend”

Guys will know about this because they’ve done it themselves.

• Laugh at his jokes even if they’re not that funny

As long as his attempts on levity are even a tad bit funny and not offensive, there’s no harm in throwing a man a nice chuckle.

• Don’t show photos of your hot friends

All guys are going to think is… threesomes! This goes the same with iPhone slideshows of director’s cut photos of your pet. This makes a guy think of a different kind of threesome; the kind that involves fur and drool.

• Keep in mind that your horoscope has nothing to do with how your date will go

Or, in any case, how your relationship will fare. This goes the same with any fortune cookies you may read while out on a date hookup with him. However, playing fortune cookies in bed tells a different story—it’s fine and even encouraged.

Your BFFs (best friends forever) are a huge part of your hookup dating lives. They have always been there with you through every crush, all the first dates, serious or not so serious relationships and the break ups. Here are 15 commandments we think best friends should have towards each other when it comes to hookup dating.

1. We will examine and analyze every message—be it email or text—down to the punctuation marks, spelling, grammar and number of characters used. We fully understand that this endeavor may take hours to finish.

2. We will agree that whoever your crush is should be “really cute,” and that appraisal will remain as it is until he or she starts showing a lack of interest, in which case they become “not really that cute.”

3. We will listen to each other’s questions about sex no matter how awkward or embarrassing they may be. And for questions we don’t know the answer to, we will gladly help look up online.

4. We will always be available to be each other’s friendicators/date decoys/designated cockblock/strategic third wheels. With that being said...

5. We will always carefully learn and read each other’s signals, and know when to split if either of us wants to be alone or want to see some action with someone.

6. But if one of us says “please don’t leave me alone with him/her,” we will never leave. Wild horses, baby.

7. We will gamely wingwoman each other even if it does mean taking one for the team and flirting with the less attractive and boring friend.

8. We will always be ready to take part in a post–date analysis the moment a date ends.

9. We will dutifully hide the fact that we find each other’s boyfriend or girlfriend secretly annoying and obnoxious. He will be invited to every group outing, and we will make an effort to talk to him and include him whenever we’re all out together.

10. If a serious boyfriend shows up to what we thought was going to be girls night, we will not throw a fit. However, we will also not do this too often.

11. We will find each other’s nauseatingly sweet relationship milestones adorable. We will listen to each other brag about the relationship long after everyone else in our lives has gotten tired of it.

12. We will dutifully get dressed up and go “paint the town red” to “hit on some hot guys” and “get really drunk like we used to” if either of us feels the need to do this after a break–up.

13. We promise to keep close tabs on each other’s exes so that if he/she has a new girlfriend, we can break the news gently.

14. And we will, under any circumstances, stay friends with each other’s exes, even if we think he or she was sort of nice.

15. We will always believe that the other is amazing, beautiful, wonderful and deserving of a perfect and lasting relationship. We will remind each other of this always.

Before we proceed, what exactly is a mantra? According to the Oxford American dictionary, it is a Buddhist or Hindu invocation. Wikipedia tells us it is used to create spiritual transformation. Therefore, this article is not meant to give you a bunch of hookup dating rules or guidelines. Right now, we’ll be taking up mantras.

So now the question is, what would I chant to myself so I could feel happy, healthy, cleansed, peaceful and centered? Hopefully, the mantras listed here will help you achieve peace, and allow you to put hookup dating in perspective.

• I cannot control his behavior; I can only control my reaction to it. You’ve been trying to call him and you don’t know his whereabouts. You can’t attach a GPS to him just to know where he is at all times. In the same sense, you cannot make somebody care for you or even love you. What you can do, however, is not to leave a ton of consecutive voicemails of a psychotic or mean-spirited nature. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, repeatedly say this mantra and go for a walk. Once you realize these things are out of your control, you’ll definitely feel better.

• I am a human being worthy of love. Nuff said.

• Everyone has the responsibility to guard his or her own heart. This does not mean to put up walls around your heart; it means you should be realistic. You cannot tell what the future holds. Guarding your heart means setting realistic expectations, taking responsibility of your own behavior and accepting the fact that things do not always go your way. The last one is quite impossible, because that can only happen in a perfect world.

• Bigger picture, bigger picture. Quit sweating the small stuff and go back to bed.

• I am fortunate to be alive. This combo breaker had to be put in—this list was starting to get depressing. But this is essential when you’re feeling down about a guy. It’s really good to remember how fortunate you are.

• It’s fine to be sad. It’s a real and valid emotion. It’s fine to go there, so allow yourself to feel this. Mourn the passing of a relationship then get back on your feet and start being happy again.

• This too shall pass. It’s unreal to feel bad on a permanent basis.

• Everything will work out fine in the end. Is this a known fact? No, it’s not. Things could end up horrendously. But when you’re 78 years old and most likely miserable, you could stick to this mantra, and then at 80, find a hottie at the home for seniors and finally say it “worked out in the end.” Nobody knows when the end is, but telling yourself everything’s going to be fine will make you feel less anxious of the future.

For people who are into dating at an online dating web site, it may be inevitable that you finally get to meet up with one of your online dates in person. As with traditional dating, there are certain guidelines you must follow to have a successful date, regardless of your intentions, so making a good first impression is a must. Below are a few important guidelines on what NOT to do when going out on a date with a potential partner from an online dating web site.

• Tardiness

Being punctual is, of course, a definite requirement when going out on a date, and being late may be the most important thing to avoid. It is probably safe to say that no self-respecting person would want to hook up with somebody who cannot commit to his or her appointments on time. It most certainly projects a bad first impression. Even a few minutes of being late can be very damaging. However, being a tad bit too early should also be avoided as it can give the impression of being too eager, giving the indication of having too much on your hands. Therefore, make sure arrive on time—give and take a few minutes, of course. Fix your schedule so nothing can possibly come in the way of this.

• Coming on too strong

Respecting each other’s distance and personal space during the early stages of your date is absolutely essential both in an emotional, and especially on a physical sense. If it becomes apparent that you are not gentle and sensitive on the onset of your date, your potential partner may veer away from you and start avoiding you like the plague. Minimize body contact between you and your potential partner like casual or “accidental” touching of hands and the like. Refrain from having close contact if it is possible. And most importantly, do not touch a lady in an inappropriate manner. Women generally want to be treated with respect and not like a piece of meat. Under no circumstances whatsoever should you do this even if the situation presents itself like having the contents of her beverage spilled all over her bosom or if she falls over in an awkward manner.

• Staring

Despite what other people tell you, women don’t usually want to be ogled at like some piece of meat wanting to be devoured. While it is a given fact that women love to look good in the eyes of the opposite sex, it is rather impolite to stare at them for long periods of time. Moreover, it is not advisable to allow a lady to catch you gaping at her, most especially on her private areas of the body. This applies even if your potential partner came from an adult online dating web site.

• Being Obnoxious and Offensive

One of the most surefire ways to have your potential partner lose interest in you is by being an arrogant blockhead. Keep in mind that women are generally more sensitive than men, so if you don’t have anything good to say about certain topics in your conversation, it would be smart to not say anything about the matter at all. Be polite at all times, and it would help to be eloquent and witty at the same time.

• Be Punctual

Allow enough prep time to put in that last stroke of blush or the last few sprays of cologne without running late. Being late for a date is a big no-no for this gives the impression of being disrespectful of your potential partner’s time. This also shows how you might be in the future. It can start the date on the wrong foot as your potential partner you met at a one night stand website sits and waits for you, dulling the excitement of the date itself.

• Do Not Be Desperate

There is nothing worse than having someone clutching you tightly on the hem of your skirt. Never chase someone—too much persistence can be a turn off. If you find yourself in a situation wherein your calls, text messages and emails are left unanswered, it may be smart to stop because it is definitely overkill. It is a very good sign of desperation, which can make anyone run in the opposite direction.

• Do Not Hookup with a Moocher

If you think it’s bad enough to be with someone on a date that lets you take out something out of your bag whenever he needs anything, wait till you hookup with someone who lets you pay for everything. Never let your date know, especially someone you met on a one night stand website, how much you earn. This will definitely put you at a disadvantage if you are hooking up with a moocher.

• Do Not Lie

Honesty is definitely the best policy. There is actually no reason to exaggerate your stories, so why bother? You are already on your first hookup this means she is already attracted to you. There is absolutely no reason to pretend or lie at this point.

• Do Not Come on Too Strong

Whatever your reason is for going out on a date, whether it is for hooking up or for a serious relationship, do not come on too strong. Constantly talking about what you are after is a huge turn off, especially on a first hookup date. You will most certainly have your potential partner feel like they are there to fill a gap.

• Do Not Play the Waiting Game

Never put things on hold and be proactive. Do not wait around for your potential partner to contact you. However, it may be smart not to always be available.

• Do Not Hookup When Under the Influence

It is imperative that you follow this tip. First impressions are very important so do not ruin it by being intoxicated or worse, high on drugs.

• Do Not Flirt with Other People

This is one of the surest ways to have your date lose interest in you. Refrain from hooking up with other people while you’re on a date with one, if you don’t want end the night early.