Drive Her Crazy in this Guideline of Adult Dating Cars

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You don’t think your wheels will change the course of your adult dating life, do you? When it comes to adult dating, your ride is at par with what you say and do, and the size of your beer belly and where you spend your summer. Of course, you are not what you drive. But for impressing those without the depth of character to be aware of this, here is a short guide.

• Dodge Caravan – A lot of girls go for guys who don’t give a shit of what other people think. However, there is such a thing as caring too little, and this sexless ride exudes that. Use with extreme caution.

• Chevrolet Aveo – Frugality is in, and the Aveo is cheap to purchase plus great on gas mileage. However, if you’re already planning on going Dutch, this ride is not for you. Girls who are into obsessive cheapskates may be an endangered species.

• Volkswagen Eos – Women can dig ragtop convertibles, but just like the Mazda Miata, the VW Eos just might be a little to feminine for her. Remember to remove all your copies of Cosmo in the back seat, or the Eos’ folding roof is the only top that gets removed tonight.

• Volvo 245 DL – Stick a couple of Martha’s Vineyard bumper stickers on the rear or maybe an East Hampton dump sticker on the rear window of one of these timeless wagons and you’ll be adult dating Upper East Side prep-school girls in no time.

• Land Rover Series IIA – Crude and ancient, the Land Rover’s austere interior may be a tough sell as you both bounce under its safari roof when hitting bumps on the road, but you can always amuse her with stories on how you were almost eaten alive by a lion in Africa and how couldn’t part with the Land Rover that saved your life.

• Porsche 911 – The gentleman’s sports car with just a fraction of vulgarity of a Lambo or Ferrari, and the older the better. The Ersatz backseats give her a place to stash that Hermes Birkin while managing over steer situations should keep your eyes on the road where they belong.

• Zimmer Golden Spirit – This classic decorative masterpiece is strongly recommended for those who wear fur coats and use Iye to straighten their hair. When done right, expect to have pulled off an authentic concubine by daybreak.

• Dodge Challenger – There will always be a group of females partial to American muscle cars. But if you want to cast the net a little wider, the excessive macho-ness of its kind is offset by the stylish new Challenger. If it has to be a muscle car, this is what you’re looking for.