Cheating can be a very sneaky business. A lot of things go down like telling half truths, complete lies, and getting involved in different kinds of stealthy activities when a person cheats on a partner. A new book is out entitled “Does He Cheat?” in the hopes to shed some light on this rather tricky subject. The authors, Sterling Anderson and Stephanie Dart, interviewed hundreds of men from across the country who have admitted to cheating in their Internet datingrelationships and relationships in general. They talked to men from different backgrounds and had them share their startling secrets. We talked to the authors to discuss the results of their research.
* What are a few telltale signs of cheating?
Sterling: An unexpected change in patterns relating to behavior is the first red flag i.e., clothes especially new underwear fitness regimen, taste in music. Yes, new lovers from Internet dating swap musical interests in their quest to get to know each other.
Stephanie: Also, find out if they’re spending time hanging out with their “best friends” who are known cheaters. Be wary of another sign giving you times when you’re not allowed to call him.
* Is there a certain time of the year when cheating is most common? Or a time when there are bigger temptations to do this?
Sterling: After interviewing men in the hundreds, it really seems to depend on the stress level they have on the job, the availability of the other woman, and their nagging spouses.
Stephanie: Many of them talked about spring fever, when heavy clothing is taken off. And dramatic changes in weather can be the perfect excuse to stay off the radar, with hotel stayovers being the worst.
* What is the best way to confront a cheater?
Sterling: You can say something like, “I don’t know what you’re up to but I’ve been noticing, and the things you are trying to do make me feel bad. If you want to leave, there’s nothing I can to because that’s what you want, but please don’t make a fool out of me and the kids.”
Stephanie: You can also simply state, “When you do this, it makes me feel this. I wish you would do this. This translates to letting your man know that his behavior hurts and humiliates you. And if he wants another partner, he should be a mature adult and respect you enough to leave the relationship.
* What are a few telltale signs of cheating?
Sterling: An unexpected change in patterns relating to behavior is the first red flag i.e., clothes especially new underwear fitness regimen, taste in music. Yes, new lovers from Internet dating swap musical interests in their quest to get to know each other.
Stephanie: Also, find out if they’re spending time hanging out with their “best friends” who are known cheaters. Be wary of another sign giving you times when you’re not allowed to call him.
* Is there a certain time of the year when cheating is most common? Or a time when there are bigger temptations to do this?
Sterling: After interviewing men in the hundreds, it really seems to depend on the stress level they have on the job, the availability of the other woman, and their nagging spouses.
Stephanie: Many of them talked about spring fever, when heavy clothing is taken off. And dramatic changes in weather can be the perfect excuse to stay off the radar, with hotel stayovers being the worst.
* What is the best way to confront a cheater?
Sterling: You can say something like, “I don’t know what you’re up to but I’ve been noticing, and the things you are trying to do make me feel bad. If you want to leave, there’s nothing I can to because that’s what you want, but please don’t make a fool out of me and the kids.”
Stephanie: You can also simply state, “When you do this, it makes me feel this. I wish you would do this. This translates to letting your man know that his behavior hurts and humiliates you. And if he wants another partner, he should be a mature adult and respect you enough to leave the relationship.
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