As a long time New Yorker, I still cant find a word to best describe the New York adult dating scene. I’ve been through many ups and down in New York and I can say that there is nothing more horrifying and magical than dating in New York City. It is like a roller coaster ride. One time you are both truly in love, other times, it’s just a freaking hookup session. So for all you New York adult dating people out there, here are the pros and cons of dating in New York.

Pros of New York Adult Dating

It really is magical. The stereotype is true – New Yorkers don’t know how to slow the fuck down. We most fast, multitask everything, and we can do this all on autopilot without absorbing anything that goes on around us. But when we’re on a date with someone we like, we’re different. We suddenly become aware of hidden Dim Sum restaurants and alleyways we’re certain didn’t exist until five minutes ago. When you’re with someone new in New York, it feels like you’re seeing everything for the first time. In some ways, you are.

A good date doesn’t have a price tag on it. New Yorkers doesn’t care how cheap or how expensive their dates are. What’s important is they’ve enjoy it. Gone are the days of expensice restaurant dating. Ride the free Staten Island Ferry, eat franks along the way, get booze later and have the happiest time of your life.

There are tons of options. There are just a lot of young, single people in New York. They all belong to one dating website or another, they’re out every night of the week, they’re going to the gym, and they’re sauntering up to you while you’re trying to get the bartender’s attention.

Cab rides. There is nothing like making out in the back of a yellow cab. Nothing. And New York is known for doing this hookup.

Cons of New York Adult Dating

Everyone knows everyone. New York is like a fucking college campus, down to catching your friend on her bi-weekly walk of shame while you’re on your way to work. You can hit it off with someone who seemed like they moved to New York for you; just to be charming and interesting with a side of mind-blowing sex, but when you finally look them up on Facebook the reality is much bleaker than that. You have 13 mutual friends – the guy who broke your heart, your cousin Mickey, the girl who interned with you in 2007, your next-door neighbor, it just doesn’t end.

Buyer’s Remorse. Sometimes we get in a slump and date the first person that seems like they’re interested – and then, perhaps around Date #3, we meet their friend. Their friend! The one we should’ve been with our entire lives. They are so perfect. They are so remarkable and hot. WHY. The person you’re dating is always friends with your future spouse.

Been there, done that. When you have a favorite block, or restaurant, or bar, or neighborhood, it’s expected that you’ll share them with the person you’re dating. In turn, they’ll take you to their places. And you’ll create memories in those places. It’s all very romantic. Eventually, you’ll break up; And then one day, you’ll be walking down St. Mark’s Place with a friend. “That’s where I did karaoke with Tom!” Ten feet later. “That’s where I was standing when John broke up with me on the phone!” One block later. This is where I got a tattoo with Sam.” And that’s when it hits you. You’ve been leaving memories all over the city like you’re the fucking Easter bunny preparing for an egg hunt. And those memories? They’re all spoiled and gross now.

Everyone is Busy Everyone in New York is either busy, a flake, or both. Even people who don’t have jobs are busy. You will utter the words, “He’s just busy” so many times that even you don’t believe it anymore. This is the nature of the game; you are a bad, busy, flaky person. And so is everyone you date. This is the game of flake in New York adult dating. Embrace it or die alone.

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