Dear Doctor:
I’m in a relationship and although we have our ups and downs as far as our relationship, in general, sex has always been good between us. It’s never really been an issue; we both feel comfortable and have orgasms during our encounters. Nevertheless, the last 3 times I’ve had sex I have just felt like sensitivity down there has been diminished and I don’t really feel as much and therefore can’t have orgasms. The more I try to have one, the less I can, the more stressed out I get, and the less I enjoy sex. What the hell is wrong with me? Please give me sex and relationship advice.
Dear Reader:
Many women experience difficulties to have orgasms, in fact, you are one of a lucky few who have them on a regular basis. If you’ve never had issues before and you do now, something is definitely up. The cause can be very simple or it might be a more elaborate occurrence which requires you find professional help. Let’s try and look at some common situations which might be the cause of the problem.
As a general rule, women have a much clearer tie to their emotions than men do. This is why a guy could be pissed and still have sex with the object of his anger…for women, on the other hand, this is quite difficult. If they don’t feel in a comfort zone, emotionally speaking, chances are their sex life will suffer for it. They might engage in the act, but their mind will be elsewhere, thus interfering with the pleasure of the experience. Might this be your case? That there’s some unsettled business between you and your guy?
Maybe what’s on your mind has nothing to do with your partners in sex, but rather with other stressful aspects of your life such as family, work, health, etc. Stress is one of the main causes of disfunctional sexual behavior in adults.
If none of these are the case, then maybe it’s a good idea to get a checkup from your OBGyn to know that everything down there is working properly and in perfect health. Also be aware of any medications you might be taking, such as antidepressants which diminish sexual response.
Whatever the cause, it’s best to take it in stride and not get too worked up about it, ’cause that will only contribute to the problem. Surely, you’ll resolve it soon.
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