Dear Doctor Sexalewitz:
I am 20 and still a virgin. It might not seem like an odd thing to you, but believe me when I say, to me it feels like I’m an old maiden. It seems like people around me have been having sex for so long, it’s a real miracle I haven’t get a laid myself. I consider myself to be a woman of an average beauty and have no problems getting dates…it’s just that when things get to that point, I always walk away somehow or simply don’t let it get that far….needless to say my relationships haven’t been fruitful because of this, I’m guessing. Anyhow, I feel I’m ready now… and since I’ll most certainly suck at it because of my inexperience I want it to be a one-night stand thing. So, how do I go about getting myself one of those?
Kuddos on not having fallen prey to sexual peer pressure in the past…it takes a big person to achieve that in this day and age. You don’t really go into your reasons for having remained a virgin but I’m guessing they must be important to you if you’ve held on for this long… may I comment here, on the fact that I don’t feel 20 is an odd age to still be a virgin .
Anyhow, whatever made you wait this long I’m sure is still important and therefore you shouldn’t just dismiss it altogether simply because you feel you are ready today. In other words, I don’t think a stranger should be the one to pop your cherry. Fortunately, you are a woman and as such, it’s more acceptable for you to let the man take the lead, especially if you let him know what your situation is, and not seem like you suck at it.
I say wait ‘til you meet a guy you like…. He doesn’t have to be relationship material necessarily, but at least let it be someone you share something with, other than an itch down there!! If you’re set on it being a stranger just go to a club and sit there…I assure you somebody will approach you with sex in mind. But I rather suggest you try out online dating or speed dating or the real dating to get your first. Hookup for sex is easy. But hookup for a relationship with sex is different. Remember protection and have fun!