It’s time to cancel those pole dancing lessons and throw away the edible lingerie. If your guy is like Albert Tanner, all he wants is a sweet and sexy helping of you tonight. So here are some common toppings a lot of girls think their partners when having adult sex, but most of us guys can happily do without.
  • Overly Sexy Lingerie
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for hot underpants, but sometimes lingerie can go too far. Flattering, formfitting and revealing is wonderful so much better than smelly old sweats. However, I’m not too keen on elaborate lace patterns, snaps, zips, triggers and material you’re supposed to eat. A good rule of thumb is if you start hearing expletives from your man or starts getting cuts while taking your bra off, you know what your wearing has crossed the line from sexy to aggravating.

  • Role-Playing
Every women’s magazine on newsstands tries to sell it as a great way to “heat things up” duringadult sex, but nothing could cool things down faster in my bedroom. I refuse to be a pizza delivery guy, a marine sergeant, a Spanish football star, or an evil clown. It feels stupid, and it’s rather difficult to get in the mood when you feel stupid.

  • Watching Porn During Adult Sex
A lot of women admit to watching porn during sex. I’d be lying if I haven’t tried this with my wife, but I feel it just ruins the moment. It’s utterly distracting. I like being completely focused to the woman I’m with.

  • The A Word
There are guys who want all access to his partner’s body okay, one specific part when having sex. If you and your partner get a kick out of this, then good for you! However, this is not for me because I find it unpleasant, and I can only imagine how you feel at the receiving end.

  • Threesomes
Okay, okay, I know this is every man’s fantasy, but not really mine. First of all, I’m a horrible multitasker. Sure, I can cook a meal for my family while doing the laundry, but there is no guarantee that the white’s will turn out white and the food will be edible.

  • Bondage
In one of my early sexual encounters, it involved being handcuffed by a charming young woman who went on to be a brain surgeon. It was awkward because it felt forced just to make it kinky. For me, that’s less like having sex and more of a performance art. But take note, if putting on handcuffs is your thing then by all means put them on. Your man will probably play along, because anything that helps you get turned on is a turn on for him too. Do what you love, just don’t force anything.

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