Some things are customary: You drink Dom Pérignon on New Year’s Eve, Manischewitz on your nephew’s bar mitzvah, and chug whatever’s available on your family reunion, always hoping there’s loads of it. But for other events, especially those crucial lovey-dovey moments, the task of going through the wine selection can be daunting. This is the reason why we give you our dating tips online to guide you to getting the perfect bottle for every stage of your relationship.

The First Date

Wine, like a real man, must have a bit of swagger. Obviously, you would want a delicious bottle, one with style and uniqueness. Of course, it should be red the color of passion but cabernet is too safe, and the merlot trend is getting old. Try going for California pinot noir it’s unique enough to be cool, and is a great type of wine to boot, because it’s got the same red intensity and the silken smooth texture of white.

Meeting the Parents

This is the time you need not be a gambler, but a man of substance. If you have no idea what your future in-laws taste in wine is, your safe blue chip bet is red Bordeaux. They may not like it, but even casual drinkers can identify its pedigree.

Proposing

Obviously, our dating tips online say it has to be rose champagne because the bubbles and the right tinge of color I think this needs no explanation. Try it and she’ll be giddy enough to say yes even if she has lingering doubts about, say, your now growing collection of “Gossip Girl” episodes.

The Heave-Ho

Regardless if you’re getting or giving it, you’re going to need an anesthetic. The high alcohol content of a tawny port may be just the thing to dull your senses. And if you need extra doses in the following weeks, the contents of the bottle won’t go bad when shelved.